I raised my hand and called for a taxi. A white Toyota stopped and I got in. "Bondi !", I said. The cabbie took the immediate left and raised off his car to overtake and change the lane. As I sat, I turned to look into the cafe I left a while ago. I found him with a sullen disappointed face, just the way I left him. My heart sank and tears rolled out. It struck me what blunder I have done and what I was loosing. I yelled "Stop" repeatedly and the puzzled cabbie pulled over at a parking nearby. I grabbed the first note from my purse, handed over to the cabbie and flung out of the cab. Cabbie still grumbling realised I had paid more than needed and drove away happily.
I paced my walk to the cafe holding my purse nervously. And even before I knew I was running swiftly in my stilettos. Just before I reached the cafe, I slowed down and caught my breath. As I peeped into the cafe, his head was down and hands over his shoulders. I slowly stepped in and walked to the table. He looked up and his face lit with joy and astonishment. I slipped into the chair and said "I Do !!"
Less than a month after, he was waiting for me at a chapel altar in his town. As I walked the aisle with my brother - my friends and family cheered me. I looked back to the altar at Jay and found him waiting eagerly with a bright smile. We reached the altar, my brother kissed my hand and hugged me with all love and heavy heart and joined my granny in the nave. As he left, flashes of nostalgia passed by. I recollected a wonderful poem I once read -
" With poigance I look back. In nostalgia
At happy days of an innocent childhood
How much more I would have savored them
Had I known they would not last forever... "
Bidding bye to my bachelorette, I took his hand and said "I do" once again. It was a dream to be married and after years of waiting the day has come atlast. College lovers bonded forever. He kissed me, swept me off my feet, carried me through the aisle into the decked up car waiting for us and drove away "Just Married !!"
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Monday, December 21, 2009
WHY DO I NEED TO QUIT ?
WHY DO I NEED TO QUIT ? Did you ask this question whenever you try to give up the very thing you can't live without. Things that have become an integral part of your daily routine, a habit. And you come across the great resistant feeling within yourself, even if it is a slightest thought of giving them up. Worst, you ignore the bad it can do to you and make up all kinds of absurd reasons to defend your resistance. You deceive your mind and convince yourself totally into it. Now the great question arises how can we resist the great resistant of quitting? So lets ponder for some answers, some effective methods and scrutinize them until we find the one thing that will beat our resistance and finally QUIT.
There's no one way or one mantra which will click instantly for all. There are tons and tons of articles written to motivate the quitters to resist the feeling, procedurally avoid it and finally QUIT. How effective they are, depends not only on how good the article is but also when and how you read it and importantly how it has been implemented. Many articles talk of self determination, awareness (** more adjective**), but how can I resist my dearly habit which comforts me, soothes my senses and keep me away from this hectic world. Is it enough that I just read a highly motivating article and soon find my self strangled in the web of my resistance? Or do I need more?
Now not every habit is that difficult to extricate. Only the ones which are not just a habit but have become an addiction and which brings you transitory pleasure even though they can harm you or others. A friend of mine, Burman a wonderful human being, loves his family, very efficient at work, enjoys his life, very respectful and has many admirers of which I'm one. Yet he is a long long slave of smoking. He just can't resist but always accept "Want a smoke" offer. Now this doesn't suggest about him that he is not motivated or determined, he is surely a very persistent and successful man. And definitely he would have tried many ways to outdo his addiction and quit to smoke. But why such a resolute man is not able to resist his resistance for quitting? Whats missing??
Man has always been an adventurer. From the point when he stood up on two legs and distinguished himself from animal kingdom - came the change. He adapted, tried and tested new areas and behaviors. He has evolved like no other spices on the planet Earth. This sense of adventure and curiosity which has brought great virtues to mankind, has also been the cause of destruction and self harming. Smoking, drugs, drinking, sex, gambling, traveling, building, conquering new territories and many more have been Man's passion since ever. He needs this sense of pleasure, rush and anxiety to exist and feel himself.
When we can beat this zing and look beyond to the greater good it can bring, we can overcome our resistance and call it a quit. Well its easier than said. "How??" is the next question many would ask. Simple I would say - Use the same zing to find a safe alternative that would suit you. Like I said, Man is adventurous curious explorer, then why not find an alternative. Not that we don't have methods to quit, there are plenty like nicotine patches, rehabs, support groups, etc - but the problem is having that zeal to quit and taking that first step. Its only possible if you change your focus area from that addictive habit to something else. May be pursue a new hobby. Play a sport, learn a music instrument, learn to sing/dance, write a book, community service, start a trip, start a support group, something you always wanted to do, something which will give you that pleasure, that zing which makes you feel elated and satisfied.
The hard part is now over, when you took the first step to quitting. Dont let the zeal die, don't let your resistance beat you, end it !! Don't fall back to old habits. Find ways to keep the desire burning, take help of your friends, family, or coworkers. Keep yourself occupied. Share your experience and thoughts with people around you, encourage them to do it too. You will be even more motivated when you have the responsibility of helping and leading others into quitting. Help them and help yourself.
Enjoy your life the most precious you have !!
There's no one way or one mantra which will click instantly for all. There are tons and tons of articles written to motivate the quitters to resist the feeling, procedurally avoid it and finally QUIT. How effective they are, depends not only on how good the article is but also when and how you read it and importantly how it has been implemented. Many articles talk of self determination, awareness (** more adjective**), but how can I resist my dearly habit which comforts me, soothes my senses and keep me away from this hectic world. Is it enough that I just read a highly motivating article and soon find my self strangled in the web of my resistance? Or do I need more?
Now not every habit is that difficult to extricate. Only the ones which are not just a habit but have become an addiction and which brings you transitory pleasure even though they can harm you or others. A friend of mine, Burman a wonderful human being, loves his family, very efficient at work, enjoys his life, very respectful and has many admirers of which I'm one. Yet he is a long long slave of smoking. He just can't resist but always accept "Want a smoke" offer. Now this doesn't suggest about him that he is not motivated or determined, he is surely a very persistent and successful man. And definitely he would have tried many ways to outdo his addiction and quit to smoke. But why such a resolute man is not able to resist his resistance for quitting? Whats missing??
Man has always been an adventurer. From the point when he stood up on two legs and distinguished himself from animal kingdom - came the change. He adapted, tried and tested new areas and behaviors. He has evolved like no other spices on the planet Earth. This sense of adventure and curiosity which has brought great virtues to mankind, has also been the cause of destruction and self harming. Smoking, drugs, drinking, sex, gambling, traveling, building, conquering new territories and many more have been Man's passion since ever. He needs this sense of pleasure, rush and anxiety to exist and feel himself.
When we can beat this zing and look beyond to the greater good it can bring, we can overcome our resistance and call it a quit. Well its easier than said. "How??" is the next question many would ask. Simple I would say - Use the same zing to find a safe alternative that would suit you. Like I said, Man is adventurous curious explorer, then why not find an alternative. Not that we don't have methods to quit, there are plenty like nicotine patches, rehabs, support groups, etc - but the problem is having that zeal to quit and taking that first step. Its only possible if you change your focus area from that addictive habit to something else. May be pursue a new hobby. Play a sport, learn a music instrument, learn to sing/dance, write a book, community service, start a trip, start a support group, something you always wanted to do, something which will give you that pleasure, that zing which makes you feel elated and satisfied.
The hard part is now over, when you took the first step to quitting. Dont let the zeal die, don't let your resistance beat you, end it !! Don't fall back to old habits. Find ways to keep the desire burning, take help of your friends, family, or coworkers. Keep yourself occupied. Share your experience and thoughts with people around you, encourage them to do it too. You will be even more motivated when you have the responsibility of helping and leading others into quitting. Help them and help yourself.
Enjoy your life the most precious you have !!
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